I was talking to a client yesterday when out of the blue she said, “Everyone always forgets about me.”
I was immediately struck by what a painful thought she’d so casually said out loud.
She had no idea that this thought “Everyone forgets about me,” was what was causing her pain. It’s a thought she’s been playing in her mind for years. Day after day, finding all the ways people forget about her. Can you imagine going through your whole life constantly thinking that everyone is forgetting about you? Can you imagine how unloved you would feel?
She didn’t even realize she was saying it. For her, it’s her truth. It’s how she lives.
We can spend our whole lives walking around with thoughts like this in our head. Saying them out loud to people and trying to build up evidence for them.
The barista forgot my coffee, “Everyone forgets about me.”
My friend hasn’t called me in a while, “Everyone forgets about me.”
The server didn’t immediately come to my table, “Everyone forgets about me.”
When I have thoughts like this, (because yes, even though I’ve been watching my mind and learning how to unravel negative thoughts for years, these painful thoughts still pop in sometimes), instead of just assuming they are true, I question them. I don’t keep replaying them in my mind.
Is it true that everyone always forgets about me?
It’s not true for this client.
I didn’t forget about her. I called her when I was supposed to call her. Her water company doesn’t forget to send water to her house. Her employer pays her like clockwork. Her best friend called on her birthday. She could come up with a whole list of ways that people don’t forget her.
Imagine how she shows up in the world believing that everyone is always forgetting her, walking around feeling unloved and unwanted, always waiting for the next person to forget her. Can you imagine what she’d be like if she didn’t think everyone was always forgetting about her? How happy, welcoming and friendly she’d feel and be?
P.S. Can you imagine what your life would be like if you were able to let go of the painful thought you’ve been holding on to?