Why We Settle

This is Lark. I waited a long time for her.

Lark lives with me.  She’s super curious and chill.  She doesn’t even react when I invite dogs over.  Lark’s not actually my cat though.  She belongs to her human mom, who happens to be my roommate.  Lark’s mom is as easy going as Lark is – basically they are the perfect roommates. 
 
I’ve had roommates for two years now.  Before that, it was just my son, my cat and me.  I originally started looking for a roommate for the money and then I got used to the extra money but also got used to having someone else around.  My son and I now prefer having a roommate over not having one.
 
However, and this is a BIG however, that roommate has to be the right person (or cat). 
 
Living with the wrong person would be awful. Living with a roommate just for the money would feel stressful. I’d always be wondering what they were exposing my son to and who/what they would be bringing into my house.
 
When my last roommate left, I’d just left my full time job, so money and money fears were top of mind.  What if I run out of money? How will I find more money? Losing the additional income of having a roommate felt extra scary. Would I find someone? Anyone?
 
I knew what I wanted: someone in their early to mid twenties with a cat would be ideal (since I already had a cat who wasn’t a fan of dogs).  Someone respectful and someone who I could trust alone around my 14 year old son. Someone that I wouldn’t mind sharing my dishes with. That doesn’t sound that hard to find right?
 
I put out ads looking for a new roommate. I hung up posters, advertised on facebook and varage sale. 
 
No one came. When people finally did answer, after what felt forever, they looked like this:
 
-A woman with an aggressive dog and an infant. (Was my cat going to die?  Was I going to kill a baby that was crying all night when I had to be up at 5am?)
-A 45ish year old man who had sort of semi-retired, and was going to school, but couldn’t tell me what he was taking at school. #sketchy
-A guy that didn’t smell very good
-A few other “meh” people

This is when we start wanting to settle.  We’ve made an effort.  We’ve put ourselves out there a bit and the thing that we are wanting hasn’t shown up yet. We start justifying it to ourselves – maybe that aggressive dog won’t kill my cat, maybe that sketchy 45 year old guy was just indecisive?
 
Even though I knew that none of these people were a good fit, my mind kept wondering if the right person would ever come.
 
Every time those thoughts would come up, I’d come back to that list of what I wanted.  It’s possible.  The right person will come. Whenever I looked at my bank account, I had to remind myself, that yes, the perfect person was out there.  I just might have to wait a few months. 
 
Of course I didn’t know if the right person would really come or not.  But I did know that if I didn’t believe the right person would come, then I’d settle for one of these people who clearly was NOT the right person.
 
That’s when Lark showed up.  Actually the first time her mom came over, she didn’t have Lark with her. She seemed really nice, not at all sketchy. She was young and she had a younger brother around my son’s age, so she’d know how to interact with me son.
 
Yes!  The right person/cat had arrived!
 
The only reason I was able to wait until she arrived was because I believed, and kept believing, that the right person (and cat) was out there. 
 
Is there something you are settling for right now in your life?
How would your life change if you stared believing that what you want is possible?

Holding onto the believe that what we want will come is truly worth it.  I'm so glad I waited for Lark and her mom.

Robyn 
 
P.S. I spent an hour this afternoon trying to take the perfect photo of Lark but she kept trying to run away.  Right now, when I don't need a photo, she is staying perfectly still curled in the cutest ball imaginable on top of a pile of clothes.