Why You Keep Having Problems In Your Relationship

Sarah had a problem. 
 
Her front tire on her car kept going flat. It would be fine for a few days, sometimes even for a week, and then she’d be on her way to somewhere important only to discover the tire was flat again.
 
At first she was annoyed. It made her late for work and she ended up running behind all day. It was extra stress she didn’t need. She’d fill it up, and it would seem fine and like it was fixed, but then the tire would be flat again.
 
“I guess I have to live with this flat tire,” she thought, “I’ve filled it up with air – done everything I know how to do, but it just keeps going flat.”
 
She talked herself into living with it. 

“It’s not that bad.”
“Everyone’s tires go flat sometimes.” 
“Sure, it’s affecting my life negatively, but maybe there is something I can learn from it.”
 
It seems silly with a tire doesn’t it? Why doesn’t she just take her car into a mechanic? It’ll take a few hours of her life, but the problem will be fixed forever. Ain’t no one got time for their tire to keep going flat.
 
Anytime we have a problem that keeps happening, it’s because we are trying to fill the tire with air instead of taking it to a mechanic.
 
We aren’t supposed to know how to fix everything on our own. It takes way longer and we usually end up making it worse or maybe that’s just me anytime I’ve tried a home reno?
 
Asking for help is smart. 
 
We ask for it all the time. Having someone cut and color your hair. Going to the doctor. Having someone else fix your car.
 
I see people struggle with the idea of getting help for their relationship. They ask for help from friends and family, spend hours searching online for answers, and they try to figure it out on their own. All of that is great, but it’s also like asking your friend to help you fix a flat tire. It’s only going to help if your friend has the right tools and knowledge to fix a flat tire.